Do Less: over-extending appeasing second-guessing performing worrying over-explaining
Be More: secure assertive grounded authentic present connected
without the guilt
You’re ready to be kind to yourself.
Instead of spending your whole weekend ruminating over how you worded that Friday text to your boss or beating yourself up for forgetting your neighbor’s birthday amidst the 5,671 other things you’re balancing,
You’re ready to hold yourself in high regard.
You’re ready to feel in your bones that you deserve grace - and to give it to yourself - not because of how pleasing you are or how much you achieve, but simply because you choose to fully love and accept yourself.
It’s time to be proud of you.
Capitalist culture (propped up by white supremacy and patriarchy) undermines our self-esteem by teaching us we aren’t doing enough – that we aren’t enough – so we learn to push and strive.
We ignore our limits and don’t take the Sick Day because we don’t want to let them down.
We say yes at 4:57pm to answer that “one-quick-question”, and tell ourselves for the umpteenth time we can just make the 5:30 yoga class some other day.
We are trained to believe we can and should be doing more.
And it’s exhausting.
It’s exhausting belaboring every interaction.
It’s exhausting being our own PR firm, making sure no one misunderstands us as selfish, rude, burdensome, or ungrateful.
It’s exhausting overriding our inner compass, which has been gently urging us to define (and accept) what is enough.
And after several decades of contorting to make sure everyone else is okay, we may feel lost or overwhelmed by trying to figure out what we even want.
AND…
This doesn’t make us bad.
These patterns have worked on our behalf in many regards - earning us praise, affection, admiration, and gratitude.
Seeming to have it all together generates lots of shiny praise.
But if you find yourself running on the fumes of adrenaline or subsisting on the crumbs of other people’s approval…
Are these patterns still serving you?
What if…Things Could Be Different?…
-
Instead of dragging yourself back out the door when you’re tired from a long day of work,
imagine confidently declining the dinner invitation
(even when your schedule technically is “open”)...
-
Imagine sitting contentedly in the silent discomfort of the 2pm meeting and letting people have their feelings
instead of jumping in to apologize for or fix something that wasn’t actually your responsibility…
-
Instead of shit-talking yourself after you assert your opinion at the family dinner,
you accept it is okay to have your own point of view and feel proud for interrupting the status quo and speaking from your values…
-
Suppose while dozing off in bed after the party, you realize your family friend might have misunderstood your comment,
and you give yourself permission to just let it be…
-
Imagine you honor that you feel resentful your friend always asks for rides to the airport but never reciprocates,
and instead of hinting at it or letting it fester, you share and ask for more support…
-
Suppose when you feel overwhelmed juggling it all, instead of trying to problem-solve it in your own mind,
you reveal to your partner you need more help managing the load around the house…
Who do you get to be
when your energy isn’t overly preoccupied
with other people’s perceptions of you?
Oh, but where to even start?
It’s hard to imagine beyond the echo chamber of your own thoughts, fears, and self-critiques. And what if you mess it up? Or worse, what if you try something, and it doesn’t work? How embarrassing <clutches sheet of gold stars> to admit you haven’t figured this out yet.
Most importantly, what if people judge you for breaking from your familiar, dependable ways?
*Big exhale*
I know.
I know how reassuring the discomfort of the familiar can be - and how worrisome the thought of rocking the boat might feel.
That’s one of the advantages of having a coach on your journey with you - your steadying anchor as you tune your inner compass, experiment with gradual, sustainable change, and grow your courage to honor your needs instead of leaving them unattended on that crusty, old back-burner.
This is the work we do in my high-touch 1:1 coaching and group programs, so you can stop walking on eggshells, being overly responsible for everyone else’s feelings, and start honoring your own.
It’s time to finally feel balanced, empowered, and secure — without the guilt.
Hi! I’m Allison (she/her)
Since leaving my societally virtuous career as an educator to become a self-trust coach, I’ve gotten a lot of practice with bucking the internalized pressure to be everything to everyone else.
Now I coach other over-doers and over-givers who are over it — over being overly accommodating, overwhelmed, and over-extended.
Using my Enoughness Method, I’ve coached dozens of people to stop over-riding their limits and start honoring their needs— without getting trapped doom-spiraling over how everyone else sees them.
It’s time to learn to trust yourself.
Here’s How I Can Help…
"Historically, I have spent so much time in my head with my racing thoughts that it has been hard for me to slow down and connect to my body.
Allison meets people where they are at and equips you with tools that are a right fit for you. She creates a nurturing environment and asked just the right questions for me to access my own wisdom and come to my own revelations. I felt vulnerable to say things to myself that I would have been scared to say otherwise.
My internal voice is now at the center of my decision-making and I am able to stop myself from spiraling in old mental stories. I trust my reactions and decisions more because I have the tools to be in my body, slow down, and ground myself." - Molly M.
“Prior to working with Allison I was feeling indecisive around an important career decision. Not only was I feeling indecisive, but I was being critical of my inability to make a decision. I was viewing my indecision as a character flaw. It was an indication I wasn’t an assertive person and I didn’t have direction. How could I be in my late 30’s and not know what I wanted to do in my life?
Working with Allison helped me turn a corner. I made a decision that brought me peace and hope. A weight was lifted. Being less critical of my process freed up mental and emotional space, and I was able to gain the insights I’d hoped for all along.
Allison was warm, understanding, and met me on equal ground. I felt safe in her presence. Working with Allison led to some big shifts in my thinking. When the call ended, I was in a completely different place from where I began. That is a testament to Allison’s skill, grace and power.” —Mallorie W.
"Working with Allison is one of the first times in my life I truly felt my needs were centered.
I came to her because I struggled to communicate my needs and prioritize time for myself, which left me feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, undervalued, and resentful. I really wanted to make choices that were authentic to me with less guilt and less worry about how other people would perceive me.
Each session, the tools Allison used help me get to the bottom of and shed old thinking. I trust myself and now believe access to my kindness and generosity needs to be earned and reciprocated. I am carving out more time for myself and I’m putting up with a lot less shit!" — Danielle W.
“My experience with Allison has been nothing short of life changing. She has truly helped me identify, align, and reconcile the parts of myself that I once thought were at odds with each other. Not only am I on my way to reaching my goals, but I have a new perspective on an issue I've been struggling with for years.” —Alix Z.C.
Follow me on Instagram:
